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Hello, I'm Thomas Raith. Nice to meet you. I'm a White Court vampire, unfortunately. You have no idea how much I wish I were just a vanilla mortal. Still, I've come in handy a few times when Harry needed help. [header] |
I heard through the grapevine (a very large, extensive, pervasive, and, more importantly, invasive grape vine) that there was a flesh eating zombie attack in Florida.
I wonder if something like that might be indicative of a larger and more promising trend? I do hope the poor man who was attacked isn’t okay.
There are a lot of things that eat flesh, who says it was a zombie specifically? Grapevines aren’t incredibly reliable… especially large, extensive ones.
Forever jealous that Harry has a group of house-cleaning faeries and I have to clean myapartment on my own.
I’d clean for you… But, I won’t wear the maids outfit this time. It’s hard to clean in that.
The maids outfit isn’t really for cleaning anyway… And you know I would’t make you clean my apartment. I’d be happy if you helped out though, it’s a two person job sometimes.
Forever jealous that Harry has a group of house-cleaning faeries and I have to clean myapartment on my own.
Anonymous asked: Dear Thomas: I’m going to go ahead and safely assume we both know you’re not in outer fucking space, though I can see how you’d break a dick that size. Questions like this are why the howling soul-demons are hounding his every step, trying to drag him into Hell where that past-due motherfucker belongs. It also reminds me that the world would be a better place if lawn-mowers did have big, luscious breasts. Like it’s some kind of holy-shit biological surprise. - With Love, Harold Dresdn
Dear ‘Harold’,
This doesn’t make much sense beyond the first half of a sentence or so, and I have no idea who ‘him’ is or why he belongs in hell. But I’m definitely not in outer space. Lawn mowers with breasts would be very inconvenient. I’m not going to touch anything else in this message with a ten foot pole.
- With confusion, Thomas Raith
Anonymous asked: What do you mean Hendricks own two?
It was a joke.
(OOC: It was a reference to Marcone being a ‘tiger’, like Harry’s said a few times about him.)
Wouldn’t it be pointless for Hendricks to own two?
Yes, here I am… again. Now I have to see what everyone has been up to in my absence. Maybe I should make up a good excuse as to why I was gone… nah, I don’t think it’ll come up too much.
It’s good to see you back. It’s good to see you at all… I fled the country in your absence.
| Lust: | Something that I find attractive. |
| Pride: | Something that I like about myself. |
| Sloth: | Something that I dislike about myself. |
| Envy: | Something I wish I was better at. |
| Gluttony: | One of my favorite foods. |
| Wrath: | Something that gets me angry. |
| Greed: | Something I can’t get enough of. |
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What I did to Clint was nothing like what happened to me. In some ways, it was better. But in many ways it was infinitely worse.
We were...
photo by thatgirlwiththeredcamera
photo by thatgirlwiththeredcamera


The hedgehog was unharmed
I cannot say the same for myself
I apologize if it is now traumatized, however
I know I am
So last afternoon Thor went with someone to go get some stuff I don’t know
And I think I’ve mentioned my… bird problem, let’s...
guuuurl i got magic for that luster
but i can’t do my hair right without curlers
can create a bunch of illusory duplicates of myself
but i can’t...

natasha will not be pleased if she sees this, gurl
but thanks~
I’m glad someone else thinks so <3

Should I feel bad? Because I don’t
….
-blink, sit back in lab chair, cover face with hand-