asknicodemusarchleone:

I heard through the grapevine (a very large, extensive, pervasive, and, more importantly, invasive grape vine) that there was a flesh eating zombie attack in Florida.

I wonder if something like that might be indicative of a larger and more promising trend? I do hope the poor man who was attacked isn’t okay. 

There are a lot of things that eat flesh, who says it was a zombie specifically? Grapevines aren’t incredibly reliable… especially large, extensive ones.

cutejustine:

askthomasraith:

Forever jealous that Harry has a group of house-cleaning faeries and I have to clean myapartment on my own.

I’d clean for you… But, I won’t wear the maids outfit this time. It’s hard to clean in that.

The maids outfit isn’t really for cleaning anyway… And you know I would’t make you clean my apartment. I’d be happy if you helped out though, it’s a two person job sometimes.

Forever jealous that Harry has a group of house-cleaning faeries and I have to clean myapartment on my own.

Anonymous asked: Dear Thomas: I’m going to go ahead and safely assume we both know you’re not in outer fucking space, though I can see how you’d break a dick that size. Questions like this are why the howling soul-demons are hounding his every step, trying to drag him into Hell where that past-due motherfucker belongs. It also reminds me that the world would be a better place if lawn-mowers did have big, luscious breasts. Like it’s some kind of holy-shit biological surprise. - With Love, Harold Dresdn

Dear ‘Harold’,

This doesn’t make much sense beyond the first half of a sentence or so, and I have no idea who ‘him’ is or why he belongs in hell. But I’m definitely not in outer space. Lawn mowers with breasts would be very inconvenient. I’m not going to touch anything else in this message with a ten foot pole.

- With confusion, Thomas Raith

Anonymous asked: What do you mean Hendricks own two?

It was a joke.

(OOC: It was a reference to Marcone being a ‘tiger’, like Harry’s said a few times about him.)

shamanvsstudent asked: How about Wrath? Or Lust?

Wrath: Pointless deaths
Lust: Confidence

cutejustine asked: Greed.

If you want the answer to that question you should look in a mirror.

Wouldn’t it be pointless for Hendricks to own two?

cutejustine:

Yes, here I am… again. Now I have to see what everyone has been up to in my absence. Maybe I should make up a good excuse as to why I was gone… nah, I don’t think it’ll come up too much. 

It’s good to see you back. It’s good to see you at all… I fled the country in your absence.